blue monday.

today has been a test of my new year's positivity. after a series of less than positive things to overcome this morning, it all came to a head with a phone call i found very hard to make and got a less than desirable response from. the tears came a streaming and i got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel like i am an absolute failure in everything i do. thus i was compelled to turn to my blog and write for a while until i feel better. and it already seems to be working.

i think post christmas blues hit all of us at some point whenever that should be. apparently last year we all felt most depressed on the 19 january when they decided (i would love to know who "they" are) it was to be forever known as "blue monday". maybe things seem much worse this year when we're neck deep in recession and everything just seems to be going progressively tits up... especially for our "lost generation" of uni graduates. who knows.

what i do know is that making plans can cause things to appear much less bleak and give our much bashed about souls a much needed dose of hope. even little things that we have achieved in our day can make us feel better about the negativity rubbish that clutters us up. i'm going to take solace in the fact that despite having a pretty crappy day so far i have managed to do the washing and put it out to dry, i have managed to deal with the annoying admin things i have been putting off for a while and i have kept to my blogging non-resolution.

i have made plans too... i plan to get a certain amount of things done today so i can enjoy my evening, i plan to start booking accommodation for my eagerly anticipated summer trip to california, i plan to find a new job and i plan to kick ass on my MA this year.

it's all beginning to feel a little less blue.