dutch courage.

i'm very excited at the moment... in a week's time i will be in amsterdam on a much anticipated trip with my fellow MA students. we have a full to the brim itinerary of fashion lectures and we will also be attending amsterdam international fashion week in the evenings which i am most excited about. i should be worrying about essentials like budgeting and preparing for the weather and so on and so forth... but instead my worries consist of a) how much luggage can i take and b) what the hell am i going to wear to fashion week?!

i'm the kind of girl who is in the perpetual state of having tonnes of clothes but never having anything to wear (despite having some really ace pieces if i do say so myself). i think the next few days need to be spent sifting through my wardrobe and much planning of outfits need to be done. i know it seems very lame of me, and i normally wouldn't care that much, but i always get super paranoid in the presence of a throng of effortlessly fashionable people. but also... comfort is a massive factor with me. i have never been one to sacrifice my comfort and the thought of being uncomfortable in the inevitable fashionable bundles and bottle-necks that are likely to occur at such events is enough to make me stay in wearing pjs and uggs in protest.

so the ultimate goal over the next few days is to curate a effortlessly fashionable yet comfortable wardrobe. i think i may need some opinions...

distinctly average.

after a long hard day of trying to get up to uni to hand in my essay and revised project proposal through the increasingly annoying snow and ice, and not being very successful at it (in fact... not at all- thank god for email and royal mail), i am currently treating myself to the network premiere of slumdog millionaire on channel 4. according to the vast majority of my housemates it is meant to be distinctly average so its just me and luke with a sofa each to ourselves enjoying the spectacle. i'm not one to buy into hype, and slumdog was pretty over hyped, but i like it. i like the colours, the subtle subtitles and the whole range of emotions i've been through so far in watching it. and... i'm nowhere near the end yet.

if this is distinctly average then i'm a very content girl snuggled under a duvet on a wednesday night. happy days.

blue monday.

today has been a test of my new year's positivity. after a series of less than positive things to overcome this morning, it all came to a head with a phone call i found very hard to make and got a less than desirable response from. the tears came a streaming and i got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel like i am an absolute failure in everything i do. thus i was compelled to turn to my blog and write for a while until i feel better. and it already seems to be working.

i think post christmas blues hit all of us at some point whenever that should be. apparently last year we all felt most depressed on the 19 january when they decided (i would love to know who "they" are) it was to be forever known as "blue monday". maybe things seem much worse this year when we're neck deep in recession and everything just seems to be going progressively tits up... especially for our "lost generation" of uni graduates. who knows.

what i do know is that making plans can cause things to appear much less bleak and give our much bashed about souls a much needed dose of hope. even little things that we have achieved in our day can make us feel better about the negativity rubbish that clutters us up. i'm going to take solace in the fact that despite having a pretty crappy day so far i have managed to do the washing and put it out to dry, i have managed to deal with the annoying admin things i have been putting off for a while and i have kept to my blogging non-resolution.

i have made plans too... i plan to get a certain amount of things done today so i can enjoy my evening, i plan to start booking accommodation for my eagerly anticipated summer trip to california, i plan to find a new job and i plan to kick ass on my MA this year.

it's all beginning to feel a little less blue.

happy new year.

i've missed writing in my blog. it's been way too long. and i'm very sorry. in many ways. but it's a new year so it's effectively a new start so it's time to start afresh. i would like to say that my new year's resolution is to write a new entry everyday but i fear that it will just set me up to fail. instead i think i'll just say i'll try my best to do that... and if i don't then i'll try not to beat myself up about it but get back on the wagon the next day. very much in the way of a dieter or alcoholic. ish.

continuing with the theme of new starts, i am now in a new abode. back in the arms of my boy but with additional extras... namely in the form of 5 new housemates. i think i'm bit in love with all of them. we've spend the last ten days of severe weather (slippery pavements have meant we've only ventured as far as the co-op, local pub and kfc) drinking, eating, sitting around in pjs and talking about unnecessarily disgusting porn whilst watching mighty boosh, brasseye and big train. we've made lots of plans already including a mighty boosh themed party for one of the boy's birthdays and potentially a james villas holiday. all very exciting.

besides being what can only be described as a reliving of my uni freshers week, 2010 has so far made me feel a lot better about things. the last half of 2009 was very rubbish for me and i'm determined that 2010 will not be like that. and i'm about 90% sure it won't be. of course i'd be very naive to believe that the whole year will be like the last ten days, and it would get very boring if it were all like that, but i like to think that i'll keep feeling as positive as i do now about things.

on that note. i'm off to get dressed and do some uni work. substantial new year blogging to come from tomorrow.

xx

p.s. i treated myself to a brand new macbook and i think this is gonna make it ever so easy for me to keep up my non-resolution. it's too yummy to put down.