blue monday.

today has been a test of my new year's positivity. after a series of less than positive things to overcome this morning, it all came to a head with a phone call i found very hard to make and got a less than desirable response from. the tears came a streaming and i got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel like i am an absolute failure in everything i do. thus i was compelled to turn to my blog and write for a while until i feel better. and it already seems to be working.

i think post christmas blues hit all of us at some point whenever that should be. apparently last year we all felt most depressed on the 19 january when they decided (i would love to know who "they" are) it was to be forever known as "blue monday". maybe things seem much worse this year when we're neck deep in recession and everything just seems to be going progressively tits up... especially for our "lost generation" of uni graduates. who knows.

what i do know is that making plans can cause things to appear much less bleak and give our much bashed about souls a much needed dose of hope. even little things that we have achieved in our day can make us feel better about the negativity rubbish that clutters us up. i'm going to take solace in the fact that despite having a pretty crappy day so far i have managed to do the washing and put it out to dry, i have managed to deal with the annoying admin things i have been putting off for a while and i have kept to my blogging non-resolution.

i have made plans too... i plan to get a certain amount of things done today so i can enjoy my evening, i plan to start booking accommodation for my eagerly anticipated summer trip to california, i plan to find a new job and i plan to kick ass on my MA this year.

it's all beginning to feel a little less blue.

happy new year.

i've missed writing in my blog. it's been way too long. and i'm very sorry. in many ways. but it's a new year so it's effectively a new start so it's time to start afresh. i would like to say that my new year's resolution is to write a new entry everyday but i fear that it will just set me up to fail. instead i think i'll just say i'll try my best to do that... and if i don't then i'll try not to beat myself up about it but get back on the wagon the next day. very much in the way of a dieter or alcoholic. ish.

continuing with the theme of new starts, i am now in a new abode. back in the arms of my boy but with additional extras... namely in the form of 5 new housemates. i think i'm bit in love with all of them. we've spend the last ten days of severe weather (slippery pavements have meant we've only ventured as far as the co-op, local pub and kfc) drinking, eating, sitting around in pjs and talking about unnecessarily disgusting porn whilst watching mighty boosh, brasseye and big train. we've made lots of plans already including a mighty boosh themed party for one of the boy's birthdays and potentially a james villas holiday. all very exciting.

besides being what can only be described as a reliving of my uni freshers week, 2010 has so far made me feel a lot better about things. the last half of 2009 was very rubbish for me and i'm determined that 2010 will not be like that. and i'm about 90% sure it won't be. of course i'd be very naive to believe that the whole year will be like the last ten days, and it would get very boring if it were all like that, but i like to think that i'll keep feeling as positive as i do now about things.

on that note. i'm off to get dressed and do some uni work. substantial new year blogging to come from tomorrow.

xx

p.s. i treated myself to a brand new macbook and i think this is gonna make it ever so easy for me to keep up my non-resolution. it's too yummy to put down.

choo choo

so it's been ages since i last posted despite all my good intentions and promises (which now, of course, lay broken upon the ground). i'm in uni today... haven't been here in ages. an ongoing mutating infection/virus/disease/sicky thing has been plaguing me since the beginning of october and culminated in a five day stomach bug/upset/thing last week... the week following reading week. am feeling very behind with all my uni work at present... obviously a great time to remember i have a neglected blog!

it's panicking me but i think once i get through the panic haze, which i aim to clear before going home today, i think everything will feel much better. *deep breaths*

so i was thinking about the most exciting thing that's going on this week in the world of fashion and there is little more to talk about besides jimmy choo for h&m coming to a store "near" you from november 14th. of course this is fantastically exciting. who wouldn't want a pair of choos for £40?

as well as shoes, miss mellon of choo has also collaborated with hennes to produce a range of womenswear and menswear... some fantastic suede dresses i have my eye on...

though not sure how much chance i have of actually obtaining said dresses (even for a quick disgruntled try-on) before the vultures descend. i can't cope with hoards of women fighting each other in packed out shops and it doesn't appear the collection will appear at my local southampton store, where i managed to get previous stella mccartney and karl lagerfeld pieces with no trouble whatsoever. although.... i'm sure i can find garments on ebay later at twice the price and no screaming and hair pulling required.

in other news.... i have finally lost patience with my wardrobe. or the contents of it really. i'm having a mass cull and everything (well almost everything) will be going on ebay. the remnants to the charity shop. once i get it all up and running i will post images and links on here for your pleasure. one promise i make and won't be broken... the clothes are lovely. fact. they just don't seem to fit in with me at more and i want them to go to a good home. watch this space. xx

my long weekend of twilight.

i don't have much to comment on today. which is kinda lame i know.... but i did fancy writing so i thought i'd open up a new post and see what would happen when i typed.

i could talk about my new found obsession of the twilight book series?...

i have a new found obsession for the twilight book series ♥ (yes, that's right. 3 million years after everyone else the penny finally drops for me...)

i read the first book from cover to cover in 6 hours on thursday. and i would quite possibly consider it one of the most productive days off i have had... ever. and i, like a fair number ofadolescent and 20-something girls, am in love with edward cullen (and want to be bella swan). the best fantasy male character ever created by anyone, fact. my eyes have been opened to the appeal of robert pattinson (i really didn't get AT ALL before).

so yes... my twilight quest continued the following day when i spent my day in bookshops seeking out new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. i was successful in obtaining new moon and eclipse at borders but sadly i'm too much of a scrooge to fork out for the hardback breaking dawn (i also am hoping to hold out for paperback just so it can go with the rest of my collection. does anyone else get that? or is it just me being picky?)

THEN. on saturday i found the dvd of twilight in asda for a fiver. i wasn't allowed to watch it that night as my boyfriend, like me, wants to read the book before seeing the film. instead the evening was spent with disney... in particular wall-e and ratatouille. (p.s now very much in love with wall-e... ratatouille didn't seem to have as much depth.)

sunday evening was the magic alone time i had been craving. i got all pj-ed up and watched twilight all on my lonesome. and (everyone is going to hate me for this) came away from the experience feeling rather disappointed. despite its best attempts, the film did not capture the emotions of the book in the same raw, energetic way i had experienced whilst reading it. it felt diluted and rather lacklustre. or maybe i built it up too much? saw the film too near reading the book? i'm not really sure... but it certainly lacked something. don't get me wrong now. i felt the actors got the characters spot on throughout and nothing annoyed me about their performances whatsoever. maybe i felt the film should've been longer? i don't know. but maybe it deserves another watch when i'm further removed from the experience of the book.

at the moment i'm engrossed in new moon. i pretty much don't want to do anything else but sit with the duvet around me and read and drink tea and read and drink tea all day long. its unfortunate that my much loved MA feels like an annoying inconvenience at the moment. but i'm going home earlier than i thought today so maybe get the opportunity to immerse myself in it in a couple of hours time.

L.H.O.O.Q

i'm at uni today doing the things that students do... or don't do perhaps is the case. you decide.

anywhooooo... the day started off with a nice little introduction to the concept of detournement and then was followed with a seminar on the same subject... i would divulge but frankly it's addled my brain and it will do yours unless you are always one of those fab types who know what i'm talking about already. see above duchamp piece for prime example.

besides being completely mind addling... it was all rather interesting and inspiring. this morning's experience cemented my opinion even more that all of my tutors are near god-like. how do they know so much? how are they so cool and hip? how did they get where they are? how can i get there please?

obviously it has taken them a lot of time, money and hardwork to be where they are but they seem like the sort of people that just magically wound up teaching about the great ideas of the world (well... art & design) to us minions. that kind of power is enviable.

and moving back a little bit to the subject of detournement (in fashion)... does anyone remember the dress dipped in ice by robert cary williams? i am dying to find an image of it but alas nothing... nada. think it was from 2006? i'm not sure but yes... let me know if you do have an image please. would make me very happy to see it.

in other news... its wednesday and you know what that means. 8pm = comfy clothes, chocolate, couch and chuck... of gossip girl that is. can't help but feel the same excitement and build up of ten years ago when i was a teenage dawson's creek devotee. let the anticipation of the ultimate in visual feasting begin!

you know you love me. xoxo

my new most favourite dress ever.

i have had the most loveliest birthday weekend and received the most beautiful gifts including my new most favourite dress ever from all saints. my lovely mr. parker had the genius enough to purchase this dress and knew without me even seeing it in store prior to purchase that i would fall head over heels in love with it. that man knows me well.

today is the day before final presentation day of my first MA assignment, as as per usual i seem to find so many things to occupy my time than the task at hand. *sigh* i do annoy myself at times.

so alas i should get on with my work and find some time to blog some more later. here's a little picture of myself in my new most favourite dress ever as a miniture token...

it's a shame that the rather fetching gold sash i stole off an unsuspecting friend of mine is covering up the nicest details of the dress... also loving the dress becky is wearing to the left of me. ace.

more to come when i've been a good girl and finished my work. x

barmaidery

apologies... it has been two weeks since my last blog. i have been getting over a horrendous cold as well as being quite the busy bee. as well as once again becoming a student, i have entered the world of barmaidery. can you call it barmaidery? i'm not sure. but oh well... yes i have a part time job in the indie club that i have been frequenting since i was much too young to be doing so. friday night was my first shift.

the first hour was a delicate process... making sure i poured a pint without too much foamyness, finding out the prices of every single little drinkie (still not sure about most of it to be honest) and working out how to work the tills properly. i was a little bit nervous to say the least... particularly since this was the first time i had ever ever worked in a bar and it was friday night in freshers week. you could say that i was stuck firmly in the proverbial deep end.

but it ended up being a lot better than i had initially expected. i met some lovely co-workers who were very patient and encouraging with me. not at any point did i have a breakdown and walk out. and the 6 and a half hours flew by rather quickly. all in all a rather good first shift. my next is on thursday... the eve of my birthday.

yes it is my birthday this friday. i normally love birthdays. like to make them last as long as possible. birthdays should always be happy times but i am beginning to wish that i wasn't getting older. it would be nice to live in a world where a birthday wouldn't automatically entail an increase in digits. alas. we cannot have everything. so i shall continue to love birthdays for all that they are.. and not start to worry about the increasing digits until i start to ask for oil of olay for my birthday. hopefully times will never be that desperate.

so although this is short i must go and do some uni work for now. but i promise... i shall not be one of those fairweathered bloggers. and my next blog will be ever so much more interesting too, i hope.